This past week, I have been struggling. Struggling with a very deep sadness and flashbacks and every other emotion that comes along with me on this journey. I think I knew it was coming last weekend, when I told my husband that I was grumpy. He said “Grumpy? What have you got to be grumpyContinue reading “This Journey is Different”
Tag Archives: death
A Conversation on Repeat
Sleep evaded me last night. I went to bed tired, so I thought it would come easily. I followed my usual routine of the last two years. Every night I kiss my ash pendant goodnight and tell Noah that I love him. I then lay down, close my eyes, and have a mental conversation withContinue reading “A Conversation on Repeat”
Grief and Social Media
When Noah died, I decided to search out grief groups on social media. I was not surprised that there were many to choose from. Some were groups based on how people died. There are groups for people who have lost loved ones by suicide or murder or SIDS, or a drunk driver. Then there areContinue reading “Grief and Social Media”
“The Day”
The emotional rollercoaster of grief is exhausting. I am 2 weeks away from “the day” and I am all over the map with my emotions. I drove home from my trailer today, which is an hour and a half drive, and I cried all the way. Silent, warm tears just falling from my eyes. IContinue reading ““The Day””
Life takes Effort
October 4th, 2020 with be 2 years since Noah died. I try not to think of it in number of days, because the number is so large. It also brings to the forefront in my mind that the number keeps growing, even though I wish it would just disappear. I have to confess that IContinue reading “Life takes Effort”
A Different Type of Easter
This Easter, families will be celebrating the holiday in a way they never have before. Covid-19 has us all staying home, and having a meal with only those that we live with. It got me to thinking that people will probably really feel the void of not having their family and loved ones over toContinue reading “A Different Type of Easter”
I Am Tired…….
It seems that in grief everything is magnified. Things that would never have bothered me in the past, or that seemed inconsequential, now make me ponder and think. With that comes fatigue. Fatigue that never gives you a moment’s break. I am tired…….tired of waking up each day and reliving the fact that you areContinue reading “I Am Tired…….”
Beauty on the Ice
Over the years, nothing brought me greater joy than watching my boys play the game they love, hockey. Matthew started playing at around the age of 5 and never looked back. At that age, they all got to have a turn playing in goal. They want all the players to experience each position so theyContinue reading “Beauty on the Ice”
January 1, 2020
The last day of 2019 was an extremely emotional day for me. I could not stop the tears. I felt emotionally dead on Christmas day, and now I feel like I have been thrown back in time, to October 4, 2018. We stayed home on this “momentous” New Year’s Eve. (Insert some sarcasm there….) IContinue reading “January 1, 2020”
My Birthday
November 6, 2019 was my 55th birthday. I really am not a big fan of birthdays anymore, well not my own anyway. I had the day off, and was envisioning a quiet day to just relax and not really do anything. The day did not go as planned. On my birthday last year, I rememberContinue reading “My Birthday”
A Mom's Journey Through Grief and Life 