love – A Mom's Journey Through Grief and Life

A Different Type of Easter

This Easter, families will be celebrating the holiday in a way they never have before. Covid-19 has us all staying home, and having a meal with only those that we live with. It got me to thinking that people will probably really feel the void of not having their family and loved ones over toContinue reading “A Different Type of Easter”

Covid-19 and Me

I don’t know about everyone else, but self isolation is nothing new to me. Since the day Noah died, there is nowhere I would rather be, than inside the four walls of my home. You see, it is a safe place. A place where I can feel what I need to feel, react how IContinue reading “Covid-19 and Me”

I Am Tired…….

It seems that in grief everything is magnified. Things that would never have bothered me in the past, or that seemed inconsequential, now make me ponder and think. With that comes fatigue. Fatigue that never gives you a moment’s break. I am tired…….tired of waking up each day and reliving the fact that you areContinue reading “I Am Tired…….”

Beauty on the Ice

Over the years, nothing brought me greater joy than watching my boys play the game they love, hockey. Matthew started playing at around the age of 5 and never looked back. At that age, they all got to have a turn playing in goal. They want all the players to experience each position so theyContinue reading “Beauty on the Ice”

I Am a Grieving Mom

I can clearly remember how I felt pre Noah dying. I had both my boys living at home, I had a husband that would laugh often, friends reaching out and wanting to spend time with me, family that would laugh and celebrate when together. I would do crazy snapchats with Matthew and we would bellyContinue reading “I Am a Grieving Mom”

Grief Is My “Frenemy”

grief [ɡrēf] NOUN : deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death. “She was overcome with grief” synonyms:sorrow · misery · sadness · anguish · pain · distress · agony · torment · affliction · suffering · heartache · heartbreak · broken-heartedness · heaviness of heart· woe · desolation · despondency · dejection · despair · angst · mortification · mourning · mournfulness · bereavement · lamentation · lament · remorse · regret · pining · blues · dolor · dole I thought it would be wise to look up the definition of the word “Grief” since it is my new found frenemy. Although I believed I knew the meaning, I was struck by the numberContinue reading “Grief Is My “Frenemy””

Thankful For My Son

This was our second Thanksgiving without Noah. I tried to be “normal.” I was so proud of myself that I could eat his favorite dessert and not break down. Trying to be my “old normal,” I have learned, is exhausting and not possible anymore. My normal has changed, and along with that, so have I.Continue reading “Thankful For My Son”

12:34am

It has taken me a while to come back here and be able to write about the one year anniversary of Noah passing away. I still can’t bring myself to say “he died.” Passing away sounds gentler in my mind, and anything to do with him needs to be gentle. I anticipated this day forContinue reading “12:34am”

Almost a year

As the 4th of October creeps closer and closer, I can’t seem to stop the tears or fend off the anxiety that creeps in at any given time. I try to keep myself busy, and I try not to think about it, but it sits in the forefront of my mind like a gigantic neonContinue reading “Almost a year”

Angels Among Us

Those first days after Noah passed away are basically a blur. I believe your body just knows to keep on moving, but it doesn’t know where to move to. I recall spending hours on end just sitting in my living room, feeling so numb. Slowly the house started filling with family, and then the mediaContinue reading “Angels Among Us”