It seems that in grief everything is magnified. Things that would never have bothered me in the past, or that seemed inconsequential, now make me ponder and think. With that comes fatigue. Fatigue that never gives you a moment’s break. I am tired…….tired of waking up each day and reliving the fact that you areContinue reading “I Am Tired…….”
Tag Archives: hockey
Beauty on the Ice
Over the years, nothing brought me greater joy than watching my boys play the game they love, hockey. Matthew started playing at around the age of 5 and never looked back. At that age, they all got to have a turn playing in goal. They want all the players to experience each position so theyContinue reading “Beauty on the Ice”
The Countdown
17 days, 2hrs, 21 minutes. That is how long it is until the exact time that my boy passed away. Here I am thinking how gracefully we have made it through all the firsts, but this first is creating dread, and fear, and tears upon tears and anxiety that I just can’t seem to control.Continue reading “The Countdown”
Silent Tears
After a highly emotional day, that was fraught with tears, I climb into bed, kiss my Noah pendant and say goodnight to my boy. As I lay in the silence, I start to speak to Noah in my head, like I do every night, only this night, the tears start coming. My eyes are closedContinue reading “Silent Tears”
11 Months
A dear old friend of mine sent me the photo below, on the eve of Noah’s 11 month angelversary. He said it made him think of me. That touched me, to know he is thinking of me, as we haven’t seen each other for many years. At the time that I received the message, IContinue reading “11 Months”
Friendships
I remember when I was growing up on Chamberlain Drive, we had many neighborhood friends, and they were always more than ready to climb the tree by the big stump, play kick the can, ride bikes or just hang out. It is true that we would be outside until it got dark or your parentsContinue reading “Friendships”
What’s in your toolbox?
I remember so very clearly the day our son Matthew was born. It was a typical day, nothing out of the ordinary. I didn’t feel all that great, but I figured that was normal being 8 1/2 months pregnant. I thought it may be a good idea to take a bath, try to relax andContinue reading “What’s in your toolbox?”
Strong vs Strength
Over the past 10 months, I have heard: “you are so strong” or “how do you find the strength to carry on?” When I hear these sayings, I usually find myself thinking “I don’t feel strong, but I must be portraying that somehow,” or “some days, I don’t know where the strength comes from.” AlthoughContinue reading “Strong vs Strength”
To my son, Matthew
Where has the time gone? One minute you were a tiny newborn, and now here you are a young man, about to set out on an adventure that will shape your life. I knew from the second you were born, that you would be a strong, determined individual. The pregnancy was not an easy one,Continue reading “To my son, Matthew”
A different view on life
There is life before Noah passed away, and then there is life after. The one before is full of memories, laughter, light, and love that all encompassed him. The life after is so different. Memories are the life before. We don’t really reflect back on them as much as we should while all is goodContinue reading “A different view on life”
A Mom's Journey Through Grief and Life 