Reflecting back on Christmas 2018, I can honestly say that I don’t remember it completely. I know I got Matthew the picture of him with Noah on the back of their dad’s truck, and many of our gifts centred around Noah. Otherwise, I know we had dinner at our friend’s house, but again very littleContinue reading “2nd Christmas Without You……..”
Tag Archives: child loss
What is Faith?
I was raised Catholic. I remember going to church every Sunday as a family. We would put on our “best clothes”, climb into the station wagon and off we would go. The mass always felt very long, and I usually didn’t understand half of what they were preaching. I know that I was baptized, andContinue reading “What is Faith?”
My Birthday
November 6, 2019 was my 55th birthday. I really am not a big fan of birthdays anymore, well not my own anyway. I had the day off, and was envisioning a quiet day to just relax and not really do anything. The day did not go as planned. On my birthday last year, I rememberContinue reading “My Birthday”
Angel Moms Gone too Soon
This past week has been hard. Medical tests, questions, more questions, doctor appointments, headache after headache, teeth clenching all the time, and tired. I point all these out because this is part of my grief. I just said to my mom today “I just want to feel normal. I don’t really know what that isContinue reading “Angel Moms Gone too Soon”
12:34am
It has taken me a while to come back here and be able to write about the one year anniversary of Noah passing away. I still can’t bring myself to say “he died.” Passing away sounds gentler in my mind, and anything to do with him needs to be gentle. I anticipated this day forContinue reading “12:34am”
Almost a year
As the 4th of October creeps closer and closer, I can’t seem to stop the tears or fend off the anxiety that creeps in at any given time. I try to keep myself busy, and I try not to think about it, but it sits in the forefront of my mind like a gigantic neonContinue reading “Almost a year”
The Countdown
17 days, 2hrs, 21 minutes. That is how long it is until the exact time that my boy passed away. Here I am thinking how gracefully we have made it through all the firsts, but this first is creating dread, and fear, and tears upon tears and anxiety that I just can’t seem to control.Continue reading “The Countdown”
Silent Tears
After a highly emotional day, that was fraught with tears, I climb into bed, kiss my Noah pendant and say goodnight to my boy. As I lay in the silence, I start to speak to Noah in my head, like I do every night, only this night, the tears start coming. My eyes are closedContinue reading “Silent Tears”
11 Months
A dear old friend of mine sent me the photo below, on the eve of Noah’s 11 month angelversary. He said it made him think of me. That touched me, to know he is thinking of me, as we haven’t seen each other for many years. At the time that I received the message, IContinue reading “11 Months”
Friendships
I remember when I was growing up on Chamberlain Drive, we had many neighborhood friends, and they were always more than ready to climb the tree by the big stump, play kick the can, ride bikes or just hang out. It is true that we would be outside until it got dark or your parentsContinue reading “Friendships”
A Mom's Journey Through Grief and Life 