Friendships

I remember when I was growing up on Chamberlain Drive, we had many neighborhood friends, and they were always more than ready to climb the tree by the big stump, play kick the can, ride bikes or just hang out. It is true that we would be outside until it got dark or your parents called you in. I still remember them fondly, but none of them became life long friends.

Then came the elementary and high school years. I had many friends, in elementary school and we all went to high school together as well. I had a few close girlfriends through elementary school and into high school, that I thought would be a part of my life forever. I found friendships in high school more difficult, because the friendships were always changing. I was also the lone girl in a group of wonderful guys. They called themselves “The Men of Adventure.” Of all the groups I hung around with, this one was the easiest. They just accepted me for who I was, and I never felt “out of place” or judged. I knew they had my back and would protect me, should I ever need it. I truly loved them. Sadly, I didn’t stay connected with them either.

Fast forward to the age of 22, and I get married. I realize now that I got married for all the wrong reasons, but I do believe that if you learn from mistakes, then not a minute was time wasted. I am fortunate to still have a connection from that marriage. She was my step daughter, but now I call her my friend. During the few years of my marriage, I lost the few friends that I still had from school. Everyone went on with their lives, and I retreated into mine. The friends that I thought I would have forever, I no longer had contact with. I am sure that much of that was my doing, as I wasn’t in a good place and I didn’t want people to know that.

After the divorce, I had to learn about myself again. I had lost the person I once was, and I knew that finding “me” had to be a priority. I finally got a job that I knew I was going to enjoy. What I didn’t know, was that I would be given the chance to work with an amazing group of women, who I still consider my friends today.

In the childcare field, we open our doors to students all the time. While working at this job, I had a student come join us for a practicum. Her name was Stephanie. I am trying to remember the exact year, but I am guessing it was around 1992. Little did I know that when this person walked into my world, she was never leaving.

Over the course of my life, I have had many friends. Some were for a short time, some longer. I believe that the people that come into our lives, have a purpose for being there for whatever that time span is. I would always tell my boys that it is better to have a few close friends, than to have many acquaintances. It is about quality, not quantity. Stephanie, also known as Auntie Steph, is my quality.

Steph is the gift of friendship that everyone should have. She has been there for the highest of highs in my life, and the lowest of lows. She has celebrated victories with me, and held me tight through losses. She was there when we celebrated the birth of our children, and she was there when Noah had a medical scare and when they informed us that Matthew may have had Downs Syndrome. She listened and she calmed me.

Steph is my “vault.” I can share anything with her, and I know it will not leave her lips to anyone else. I can count on her to be honest to a fault with me, and tell me if I am wrong. She is the one person, outside of immediate family, that has always been there for me, NO MATTER WHAT.

It is no wonder that she was chosen as Noah’s godmother. The relationship she shared with him was like no other. When he was little, she would take him overnight and spoil him. As he got older, she made sure that he knew she was there. Never did she miss a birthday, or a milestone in his life. She was so wonderful at celebrating him, and he loved her. His auntie Steph was like his “other mom.” He could talk to her, confide in her, and know that she always had his best interests at heart. He knew how lucky he was to have her.

Auntie Steph is the one person in Noah’s world that can say she loved him like he was her own. From the minute he entered this world, she became a part of his. When Steph and I sit and chat, and inevitably the conversation comes around to Noah, I can see the pain in her eyes and feel the ache in her heart. She is crying for him, not for me. That is a true example of love. When I talk to her about how I am feeling, or what I am questioning, or sharing my anger, I know there is no judgement. She makes me feel safe. She did the same for him.

If you or your children don’t have someone like this in their lives, then my wish for you is that you find one. In this world of technology, and automation, it is important that humans feel connected to another human. Life is stressful, and sometimes really hard. Knowing that you have someone in your corner that you can always count on is priceless.

So to our Auntie Steph, I say thank you and I love you. I think everyone could use an Auntie Steph in their lives, don’t you?